For many people pervaded by a relativistic spirit, the existence of the Decalogue – that is, the set of moral rules that should govern man’s conduct towards God and his fellow human beings – sounds like something arbitrary and unreasonable, an absurd imposition on the human race.
As St. Thomas Aquinas says, based on St. Paul (cf. Rom 13:1), “The things that are of God, are well ordered” (Summa Theologiæ. I-II, q.100, a.6) and therefore the choice of these precepts, as well as the order in which they are set out, are not the result of a despotic decision. Rather, they allow us to glimpse a facet of the ineffable divine wisdom, which has arranged everything in the universe with measure, number and weight (cf. Wis 11:20).
Among these precepts is “Honour your father and mother”. It leads the procession of laws referring to our neighbour, preceded only by the three laws referring to God.
If the entire Decalogue revolves around love of the Lord and of neighbour (cf. Mt 22:40), our parents certainly occupy the place of our closest neighbours, since they “are the particular principle of our being, just as God is the universal principle” (II-II, q.122, a.5); hence the peculiar affinity of the Fourth Commandment with those that precede it.
The relationship established by this precept is governed by a special virtue: piety. Derived from justice (cf. q.101, a.3), it imposes on us an obligation of debt similar to that which we owe to God. After Him, it is from our parents that we have received the greatest natural goods and, as a result, they deserve our gratitude and retribution before anyone else (cf. a.1). Consequently, we should pay them homage, reverence, honour and service in due proportion (cf. a.1-a.4).
Sacred Scripture also provides an outline of the perfect filial attitude: “Whoever honours his father atones for sins, and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure. Whoever honours his father will be gladdened by his own children, and when he prays he will be heard” (Sir 3:3-5).
St. Thomas also poses the question as to whether the virtue of piety obliges obedience to parents who wish to lead their children into sin and away from divine worship. Faithful to the teachings of the Divine Master – who declared: “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me” (Mt 10:37), the Angelic Doctor categorically states that “it would no longer be an act of piety to pay worship to one’s parents to the prejudice of God” (a.4).
Finally, the Aquinate shows that there are three kinds of goods that children receive from their parents: existence, sustenance and instruction. It therefore falls to children to respond to that dedication with gratitude, respect and obedience, as well as by helping their parents in their old age, visiting them in their illnesses and, if they are impoverished, by supporting them (cf. De decem præceptis, a.6).
The Incarnate Word Himself wanted to be a model for us in the practice of this Commandment: He “was obedient to them” (Lk 2:51), relates the Gospel about the attitude of the Child Jesus towards Our Lady and St. Joseph. Let us therefore follow His example, certain of the fulfilment of the promise: “For kindness to a father will not be forgotten” (Sir 3:14). ◊
