Grace always comes alongside sacrifice. [St. Paul of the Cross] purchased his children with prayers, tears and pain. Satan made him pay dearly for them. [One spiritual son] cost him untold efforts, making him journey from Rome to Argentario in the dead of winter. Weary as he was from his travels and his labours, he fell ill. He was seized with pains so atrocious that the gravity of his condition caused alarm.
He was transported to Orbetello and brought to the house of a pious benefactor. Nothing could mitigate the vehemence of his sufferings. They were so acute and piercing that the Saint, in order not to complain, would recite litanies to Our Lady, in tones of the most profound sadness. He could eat but little and everything caused him nausea.
For forty days and forty nights, he could not get a moment’s sleep. It was heart-breaking to hear him, with his eyes fixed on a statue of Mary, addressing Her with poignant supplications:
“O Mary, an hour of rest… At least – he persisted – at least half an hour… O Mother, my sweet Mother, for the sake of charity… A quarter of an hour, just a quarter of an hour!…”
And he was not answered… His tender Mother knew well that it was not Our Lord’s desire to allow a truce amid the pains of her beloved child. To the bitterness of that cup were added unbearable abandonment, horrifying phantoms, desolating thoughts, overwhelming anguish… The dread of hell, more than the fear of death, tortured his soul. The demons cruelly afflicted him. […] The Saint endured everything for five months with unalterable patience and resignation.
LOUIS-THERESE OF JESUS AGONIZING, CP.
“The Life of St. Paul of the Cross”.
